A letter to be thankful for.

Dear Hudson,

Its November, and Thanksgiving is upon us. The leaves are falling, the air is getting cooler, and you, my sweet baby, are growing so fast.

I've seen plenty of people talking about the things they are thankful for. Every day on Facebook people post about their families, their health, their jobs...everything that brings light into their life. (One day when you're older, ask me about Facebook. It may even still be around....if so, Mommy may need to delete some pictures of her that would warrant a time out.) I haven't jumped on the "thankful status" bandwagon, because I'm pretty sure every status would be about your sweet face, and lets face it....It would be no different than any other day, because you're all i ever talk about anyways.

The past few weeks you have turned into such a little ham. Everything you see makes you smile or laugh, and you try so hard to tell me about it every time! You tell me "hey!" when i walk into a room, or "oh!" when something startles you, and "no!" to...well, pretty much everything. One day soon i will finally get you to say the three words I've waited to hear since the day you were born..." i love you mommy!" What a day that will be!!! I've heard parents say that once their babies start talking they wish they had more quiet time, but honestly, you can keep saying whatever you want, because your little voice makes my heart smile every time i hear it. That, to me, is more precious than five minutes alone with a book.

Your fascination with the world around you has taught me to appreciate every little thing i hear or see everyday. The wind blowing in my face, the warmth of your hand when i hold it, the smell of the roses in our flower garden...all of it makes me feel more alive. I'm thankful for the moments when i get to watch your eyes as you observe Hercules running through the grass, and the sight of your teeny wobbly legs running after him makes me giggle. I'm thankful for the moments when you stick your little tongue out when you are concentrating on sticking your leggos together, or the way you clap your hands when you hear daddy yelling at the football game on tv. Even though you seem to like to throw fits lately, I'm thankful that you stand up for yourself already, along with showing me that even an innocent baby can have a "bad day." (Even though Mommy tells everyone you are perfect...because duh, you are!)  I'm thankful for the way your tiny little arms wrap around my neck, giving me the most comforting hug I've ever had in my life. I'm thankful for every single day because of you. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, just the thought of your smiling face perks me right back up. How lucky am i?!

You make me want to be a better person every day of my life. You have given me everything i need to survive, to be happy, to be thankful for. You have given me hope, faith, knowledge, strength, and graced me with more patience than i ever knew was possible. You have given me laughter, tears, and trusted me with all of your tiny little heart. You are the reason i am who i am today, and for that, i am forever thankful.

Thank you, my sweet Hudson, for being the light my life. Mommy will always, ALWAYS, be thankful that i have you.

I love you to the moon and back.

xoxo
Mommy

P.S- To everyone else, Happy Thanksgiving! :)

A daily gift from God

Ive gotten to the point where i don't want to watch the news. I want to unsubscribe from any news source on my facebook feed, or just avoid the internet all together.

(Well....maybe ill still look at Pintrest every now and then.) :)

I see things every day that break my heart into a million pieces. Murder, suicide, unexpected calls home to God. Its made me terrified of death. Not for myself...but for the one person in this world that i know i could NOT live without.

My Hudson.

I'm really not wanting to explore or even address this morbid issue on this post, but i feel like seeing things like that make me appreciate what i have more and more every day. Its a huge wake up call every time i hear of a mother losing her child, or having a child that isn't healthy like my little man. It makes me thankful for every single minute of every single day. Things will ALWAYS be okay now that this tiny little human has came into my life. (Except for the occasional poop explosion of course.)

Every day when i pick him up from daycare is like Christmas morning. The anticipation builds up all day, followed by carefully speeding to daycare, then trying to look like I'm just walking (in reality I'm sure i look like a goofball, shuffling across the floor at what some would call a slow jog) the entire way to his classroom door. I always open the door slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of what he is doing before he sees my face. (And because a part of me hopes he's just standing there, waiting for mommy...and id hate to smack him in the head with the door.)

The moment he sees me i see the overwhelming amount of unconditional love that sweeps over his face. The smile, the squeal, the laughter....it makes me feel like the most important person in the world. He takes off running as fast as his little legs can carry him and throws himself into my arms, giving me a daily reminder that THIS is what life is all about.

I can only hope that every person in this world will someday get that daily "gift". I feel like its a nudge from the big man upstairs, telling me to let go of stress from work, or anything else in my life that's causing discomfort.

Throughout my life i always questioned if i would have children someday. Hudson was a HUGE surprise, and looking back on what my life was like before him, God knew exactly what he was doing. It was time to grow up.

I was in a place where i was constantly questioning what i was doing with my life, who i was going to be, when i was finally going to find something that i was good at. As soon as Hudson entered this world, i got my answer. I was destined to be a mom. From making eye contact with him for the first time, to smelling his sweet baby breath, to hearing him laugh, to watching him take those first steps.....Dreams i never knew i had were coming true one after the other. Whisper, after whisper from God, saying "i told you so! i told you so!"

Last night i saw a news story about a local girl that took her life due to bullying. I was rocking Hudson to sleep at the time, watching every single one of my tears roll down and drop onto his blanket. Happy/"I'm so lucky" tears...and terrified tears of what he may have to endure as he gets older. I can only hope that he trusts me enough to still run to my arms any time he is going through a rough patch. I hope that he trusts me enough to know that i will ALWAYS protect him and love him, no matter what. I prayed and prayed before i laid him down, asking God over and over to keep any eye on him, and make sure that he will always be okay, because mommy would never be okay without him.

I have peace knowing that my God was listening, because he always has, and that was proven with the gift of this little man.

Everyone should count their blessings every day. Life is way too short. Whether its a child, your dog, the pretty flowers you planted outside....take it all in. Appreciate what you have, and never EVER question what the big man upstairs has planned. It all works out in the end.

Ill leave you with a quote from The Notebook...i think conveys my message appropriately. :)

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."

Mommy loves you, baby Hudson.

:)

xoxo

Candace

Trick or Treat....or Treats!!!!

Yay! Halloween is here! I don't know why, but i just LOVE this holiday.

(And no, its not just because of the insane amounts of candy....ok, maybe a little.)

I LOVE to decorate my house for it, but sadly this year my decorations have been held hostage in our attic. I don't know how Jonathan managed to put them up in a hole in our garage with no ladder, but he did, and they've been stuck there ever since. (His neck injury+ my dads heart issues+ Jacob's broken leg have taken every mans muscles and climbing skills away from me at the moment.) For lack of a better word, ill have to go with some Halloween "lingo" and say "BOO!!!"

Sadly enough, this meant i just HAD to go shopping for some new stuff. (And by sadly i mean i happily drove my butt to Hobby Lobby. Twice. Okay, three times.) Every year i am always on the hunt for new and unique decorations for my house anyways, and there was NO way i was going the whole month without some festive ghouls and witches! ( Full of glitter and pzazz of course....Save the gooey eyeballs and scary zombies for someone else please.) This year i was disappointed in the decorations i found...but i did manage to find a couple of things that have kept me satisfied.

I just love witches! (I seriously would love to really go all out and dress as the evil witch from the Wizard of Oz...but not sure how i feel about the green paint all over my face and hands. Plus I'd probably scare the crap out of Hudson.)

This little guy is my new favorite. I'm starting to add a little purple to my collection of trinkets, and hes just so cute! The little stand he is on reminds me of a cauldron.

I hope all of you had a great Halloween. My "itsy bitsy spider" had a great time chasing all of the trick or treaters around the yard. His little legs couldn't keep up with his huge heart and love for any new adventure. Such a sweet little guy
:)

xoxo
Candace